It happened! I finally found a pair of Mary-Jane style pumps that I absolutely love! I think it was birthday luck! They are black and white tweed, and have a black leather strap. I’ve been looking for a pair like this for months. I actually saw these once before, but dismissed them because they were not solid black. This time I tried them because I was with a couple of friends who encouraged me to give them a chance. They slipped on easily. My feet felt like dancing when I stood up. I felt taller, prettier, and happier!

Huh? You might ask…shoes can do that? Well, for a shoe lover, a find like this is comparable to cracking open a bottle of pure joy. At that moment, I looked at myself in the mirror and started imagining the many places I could wear them, and what outfits they could dress-up. I giggled at the thought of picturing myself happy every time I’d wear them.

The funny part about this super find is the store where I found them. It is one of those stores that people might consider for “older” ladies. I had to fight that prejudice too I must confess. But once I tried them on, I realized that their shoes are well made, comfortable, and some designs are actually youthful and modern! Above all though, they are classy.

Prejudice is a word that seems harsh; similar to judgement. I think of it as a negative reference to something. A poor review perhaps. However, the types of prejudice that rattle me most are not racist or classist ones. Although those are VERY relevant, the type of prejudice that makes me most upset is the one we are tricked to believe of ourselves. A self-prejudice that sneaks up and whispers to us, “you aren’t worthy of love.”

What?! Let me explain. There is a kind of prejudice in this world that says you need to be better-than-everyone, have it all, give-your-all. It says anything that appears vulnerable and needy of love is not good. This dichotomy of ‘being the BEST at all cost’ on one hand and ‘BE YOU and real’ on the other. We get caught on it every day. We try to distract ourselves from this battle by listening to the music playlist that sings endlessly of what we long for: Love.

This is a form of prejudice I battle in my head every single day. Like when I entered that shoe store for “old ladies.” I found myself repeating in my head “I am worthy. I was created to Love and be loved.” I have sung repeatedly a little mantra this past year: “God is Enough for me. He loves me. I love Him. Do Love Mariela!”

How is it that we can have prejudice against LOVE? I have wrestled with that idea for a while. I have read, thought about it, and heard different takes on this. There are many reasons and theories as to why, but to me it boils down to the fact that we have just forgotten what love really is. We have let pop culture, and its influences redefine love, and deemed the original version to be outdated.

The original version includes a long playlist. Love is choosing to be kind (to us and to others). Love is listening without replying. Love is speaking truth. Love is offering undeserved Grace. Love is choosing humility over pride. Love is embracing the present- whatever it may look like. Love is DOING- without expecting recognition or gratitude. Love is smiling for no reason. Love is being thankful. Love is letting yourself be loved.

Letting Love in is difficult when we have all these preconceived ideas of what love should be like, forgetting the original version. This deceitful scenario puts us at risk of starving ourselves of the very reason for which we were created. And if we do not have love, we simply cannot share it.

So where do I get Love? How can I allow myself to be loved without being deemed weak? Or needy? The answer always points back to the Creator of love itself. We cannot get the original version at the pirated store. Even if the copy looks good, and maybe even sounds okay- it will never satisfy us.

Letting love in is to develop a relationship with the Master of Love. It is leaving behind prejudice, trends, lies, and sticking to the original plan. We are created for love. This will demand us to be raw at times- vulnerable, weak, authentic perhaps. Like my visit to the shoe store, it will push us to give a chance to that pair we’ve seen, but were afraid to try on.

I am still learning about this choice of letting love in. I have no problem offering love, but to be on the receiving end is sometimes hard. I find myself questioning if I am worthy of it, or if I am being too needy. This is when I repeat my prayer, and when I run to my Creator and ask to be reminded again of the original plan.

I cannot wait to wear my new shoes!! They will remind me to leave the door open for love to come in. I cannot wait to dance, be joyful, and go places in my new Mary-Jane’s.

Do Love and Shoes!

“7-10 My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God. “ 1 John 4:8-10The Message (MSG)