February birthdays gals in Atlantic Canada get complimentary white confetti.

There is this cliché that says women become more comfortable in their own skin as they age, or people in general lose their filters as we grow older. To me, this idea of walking further in the journey that life is, looks more like the feeling of well fitted shoes. You know? Those that are exactly your size, where your toes don’t wiggle but also don’t feel tight. For me, the well fitted shoes are made of leather because that moulds to you and makes you feel free.

I am only a few days away from turning 39. Some people think I am still young (I love that!) But the reality is I am approaching what is a more realistic midlife point. I have reflected about what this decade has meant for me. I’ve laughed-out-loud thinking of all the silly shoes I still had the courage to wear.

There is a special place in my memory for times I spent with people I love dearly. In this past decade I had my younger two daughters who now are a constant source of joy.There has been grief too. In the past nine years I had to say good byes at funeral homes, I had friendships break-ups and came to accept that some of my dreams will always be dreams.

Perhaps the most revealing lesson I’ve learned in my thirties is  I need very little.
All I need to survive is oxygen and my Creator’s will for me to be here. That’s it!

Growing more dependent on Him seems to be a theme. I have not gone through a major life crisis like a chronic disease or major loses, except that of my Godfather, who was like a dad. However, in my daily life God keeps showing up reminding me that I just need Him.

Sometimes I get really distracted by wanting recognition, or appreciation or wanting to be “heard” by people. I wasted time trying to please people. At times I confused loving people with pleasing people.

And doing things… even great things have robbed me from thinking clearly and give proper rest to my mind.

I’ve discovered what triggers my anger and what things deter me from loving people or trusting them.

I don’t regret loving though. Ever!

Other times I’ve done anything to stay comfortable, secure… unaware that I may be missing the biggest of adventures and plans My Creator has for me.

As I prepare to start another trip around the sun, I keep asking myself: how do I want to finish my thirties? What memories do I want to have of my last 30 something? What do I need to leave behind?

What shoes are outdated? Unnecessary?

My loving family is torturing me with the display! #nopeeking

And then is the excitement of a new opportunity, a new year of life. What new shoes will I get to walk in? There is this anticipation to see how My Creator will take me to places and provide opportunities to be who He made me to be. I move on with a lot of gratitude because of the experiences I’ve had so far and the people God has blessed me to walk with.

There is a verse that keeps challenging me because it sets plainly a great set of goals.

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness,   mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.” (NIV) 2 Peter 1:5-7

This is how I want to end my thirties, closer to the Maker and with a better understanding of how to love others deeply.

Well fitted shoes on! Eyes on my Maker! 39 HERE WE GO!

Do Love and Shoes!