There is nothing more painful for me than letting go of my favorite shoes. I have been looking for over a year for a new pair of brown wedge pumps and I cannot seem able to find them. There is nothing spectacular about them, they are versatile and comfortable. Well, they were. I had to throw them away after they completely ripped. Have you had this experience?

Maybe is not shoes what you have had to kiss good bye. Maybe it has been a season of your life that you really loved but came to an end.

Brown wedges utopia. Almost what I want, not the right shade of brown.

This year brought me great joys but also I experienced deep grief. I threw out a few pairs of shoes after they served me so well and I enjoyed them so much but needed replacing. I had to get rid of others because they became too small or I realized I did not wear them often enough.

The biggest lesson this year has been that relationships are and will always be the greatest joy and the hardest challenge. This year I grieved friendships that ended and some that changed. I welcomed new ones too. I reconnected with some I had thought lost. I am more aware of the value of those that remain the same or seemed to have grown and matured.

There was a big change in our household that is still challenging us in regard to purpose and making us dream again. There have been times I have wanted to run away and go home because I have felt very homesick. I chose to stay because I know running away is not going to change anything.

As the year ticks off its last hours I know the discomfort of the lessons learned will propel me into focusing better in 2018. Yes, the discomfort. I think nothing teach us better than when we are kicked!

The homesickness and bruises taught me that it is time to let go of things that bring me comfort. I am challenging myself to do things that are hard.

I am going back to school, again. Something that excites me and terrifies me. I am letting go of the routines I have held dear for so long. I am planning to go back to the pool and rekindle my fear with swimming in hopes to overcome it. I want to not plan some weeks next year. I want to spend more time in nature, alone. I want to be an unapologetic happy person. I wan to LOVE more extravagantly regardless if I am understood or not.

I know, it sounds crazy. In an era where we want to know everything and we want to control everything, living free seems crazy. But I am not letting liberty or anarchy in. I am still holding tight to my faith and keeping my eyes on my Creator. I believe that as long as my focus is clear and my trust is in Him, I don’t need comfort.

Currently on the hunt for this pair: simple, black, waterproof riding boots.

My faith grew immensely too this year. I witnessed miracles and answered prayers. I saw many times God filling my hopes and the spaces in my heart that ached. Christmas made me count over 500 gifts (a challenge given by my soul sister) that I would have missed if I had not been in tune with my Creator.

Letting go of comfort is a challenge I am ready to take head on. I am betting on more bruises and skinned knees but I am sure I will see more of My Creator in it. In a smaller scale it is like when you find an even better, nicer and more comfortable pair of shoes after you thought it was impossible to replace your favorite ones.

So cheers to 2018 and finding those new shoes that will be hard to wear for a bit but will bring more JOY and grow in time!!!

Do love and shoes!!!

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (NIV)